At first thought attractiveness conjures the physical, likely symmetrical faces in swimsuits with six pack abs and flawless skin. Attractiveness, however, goes much deeper than what is visible to the human eye. As we all differ, thankfully, what attracts us differs as well. Life would be a boring existence if we were not attracted to different personalities, places, and people.
Initially, physical appearance garners our attention and allows us to maintain initial interest. Whether friendships, romantic, or business, as relationships develop, non-physical personality traits become more critical and highly influence one’s ultimate attraction.
While diminutive characteristics we find attractive depends on many factors, extensive research identifies some common traits a majority of us find attractive: an overall positive personality, extroverted, agreeable, conscientious, open, and stable. Extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, openness to experiences, and neuroticism are the Big Five personality traits. According to researchers, these are wide spectrum traits that contain multiple, smaller personality traits of which all human beings are comprised.
A study conducted in 2010 researched the influence of personality on perceptions of physical attractiveness. The findings indicate that male and female participants when given positive personality information [about a subject] found a significantly wider range of body sizes physically attractive [compared to the control group]. The participants given negative personality information found a significantly narrower range of body sizes attractive [compared to the control group].
Attractiveness is not solely about physical appearance. According to Dr. Van Edwards, editor of Science of People, if you want people to be more attracted to you, learn the rules of attraction.
1. Stop Being Boring. We all spend an unnecessary amount of time thinking, worrying, and hoping we fit in. When we try this hard to fit in, we tend to hide what makes us uniquely us. Instead of trying to fit the mold of everyone else, let your unique characteristics and quirks show, they make you, you, and not a more boring version of you.
2. You have 30 Seconds, Go. Attractiveness happens within the first 30 seconds of meeting someone. Our brains make incredibly accurate and long-lasting snap judgments in the first few seconds of meeting a new person. Through a study at Tufts University, participants accurately predicted which teachers would be the most successful from just 30 seconds of video. What will you do with those 30 seconds?
3. The Single Hottest Trait. While eyes, smile, and other physical traits rank as popular indicators of attractiveness, research shows that availability is a person’s most attractive trait… In dating it is about physical availability, in friends and long-term romantic partners it is about emotional availability, and in business it is about economic and intellectual availability. Our availability is not as obvious as we think it may be. To show your availability, make it a point of telling people reasons you are there and what you are looking for.
4. Body Language. Open body language is more attractive than any outfit, hairstyle, or dance move. Having an open torso, which is keeping your torso, chest, and abdomen open, is the best way to show availability. Our hands play a role in our attractiveness as well. When our hands are not visible, our attractiveness decreases because people feel they cannot open up to us. Challenge yourself to display your availability through your body language at your next meeting, event, or date.
Know attractiveness is more than what meets the eye. Only being the best version of yourself will increase your attractiveness!